girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
