I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
