Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Success! We fucked roommates!
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
