so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
The feeling are messing with the penis
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
