I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
