isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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