If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
