Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
