Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
You're like the curious george of whores
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize
