please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
