Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
