yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
