O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
