How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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