Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
