can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
