my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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