Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
The best revenge is premature balding
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
