this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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