It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
