We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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