am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
