RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Randomize
