when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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