people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
