your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
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