Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
