Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
