Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Randomize
