All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
pop tarts are not kleenex
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
