mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
