I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
