I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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