I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
should my penis look like a turkey
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
