Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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