My room smells like vodka and shame
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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