it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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