I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
