Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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