If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
