my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
