Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
