we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
