Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
