Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Randomize
