I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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