this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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