Don't you send me to vm
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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