i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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