i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
