That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
